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4/6/06 06:51 pm - I went

and bought myself a laptop today. I got a promo email from Dell and just bought it. I'll be happy when it comes. It will be great to be able to take it around with me and not have to use other people's systems all the time. I'm excited. Sorry Cristina for bogarting your computer. :P

Today was super long, a productive day but a damn long one. It just makes me wish that today was Friday so I could know that I don't have to work tomorrow. I think I'll have a good weekend, I'm looking forward.

Wow, I really need to go eat. I just realized that all I ate today was some oatmeal at like 8. What an ass, I'd yell at someone else for that shit.

I'm rambling here, I guess I really have nothing to say.. or nothing to say here. All of the things I need to talk about I can't. But I do feel pretty good, pretty happy-all things considered.

I never took into account how much this break up would effect other people's lives. I know for some it's a good thing and for some probably it isn't. I'm begining to feel like it really was for the best for things to end. Not in the way they did, but maybe this chapter in my life was supposed to end.. to make room for another when I'm ready. I feel optimistic but yet insecure and a little affraid, but I think I like it. I was, and still am, so used to the known and the safe. It feels good to step out and take some chances, break convention. Follow my heart.. All of this probably makes sense to only a select few who really know what's been going on in my head. Hell I barely know what's going up there sometimes. But my life is changed, it changed quickly and I'm adapting and if feels pretty good to know that it's ok. My life is mine. I love that.

4/6/06 08:29 am - Today is a sad day.

I just drank half a cup of coffee and now my heart is racing and I feel a bit sick. Suddenly caffeine is bothering me. Great. So I have decided to give the stuff up. I'm getting old enough that my body can't take too much abuse without some effects. So good bye coffee.. how i love thee.

For those who still drink the joe.. say hello for me.

3/31/06 10:17 am - I seriously thought I was gonna die last night

I was tired so I headed off to bed at like 9:30, which is really early for me... I was asleep for like a couple of hours when I shot out of bed gasping for air. This lasted what felt like years.. and finally it subsided but I still was having a hard time breathing. I realized when I got this morning that it must have been some kinda of asthma attack. I've never had asthma a day in my life.. but it does run in the family. And to top it all off I have been smoking a bit lately and that has to have triggered this.

So I guess on a good note I now have been scared into quiting smoking only 2 weeks after returning to the old friend. Just as well, I can't afford it and it's gross. Just kinda makes me feel better. But I refuse to die.. not now anway.. dang.

The weekend is upon us and yet my only real plans are laundry and a hair cut. I think I might come into Portland on Sunday. Who's gonna be around that doesn't mind looking at my face.. I won't be smoking, that's a plus. Just remember.. Renee be poor so any fun must be free fun.

2/24/06 07:53 pm - For Big Tina


Chuck giveth and then Chuck taketh...

1/22/06 02:44 pm - OK

So I've spent sometime recently bitching that I can't find girl pants that I like, in my size. Usually we fat chicks are stuck with either nasty tapered things or elastic waists. No one wants that. So just now I was like.. "you know, I used to love my levis back in the day. I need to see if they carry fatty sizes." so I looked and what do you know.. they carry my size and then some.. in a nice dark color. For 20 bucks I had to order them.

I don't do html so if you care here's the link.


I've been in dude's pants for too long. It's time for a change. I see people in clothes and I think: "hey, I dig that, but I can't wear it."

What the hell is that..? I wouldn't let someone else get away with that attitude. So why do I have all of this negative self talk? Heck no I say, time to be me not what I used to be. Wish me luck. I'll just become the queen of online ordering. The stores here suck. I have money to spend. So I will spend it in stores that care to cater to my and my needs.. I do represent the size of most americans. So I'll spend a little on shipping, so what?

12/7/05 04:38 pm - For those who care

Nine Inch Nails is coming to the four c's. Just an FYI, tickets go on sale Friday. I'm not really interested but I'm sure some out there are.

11/17/05 02:50 pm - You like it, it's funny!!


10/31/05 01:11 pm - Lifted from Tina

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want- good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or moritified) about what people remember about you.

9/29/05 08:30 am - Oh my god


8/23/05 01:31 pm - Damn courts need to get their shit straight


They need to be consistent..
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